I'm About to Drop the 'S' Word
I'm just gonna say one thing about sexism, and then I'll never bring it up again.
I think sexism still exists, but I wouldn't call myself a feminist--at least the kind that storm the capital demanding higher pay and a complete language reform to remove man from every word in existence.
My kind of feminism is the kind where I want men and women to be equal: have equal opportunities, have the same regard for their abilities, have the right to not be labeled based on their gender, etc. But I don't necessarily believe that that change will happen by rioting in the city square and belittling men for still wanting to open the door for you. Making a lot of noise might get the government to change laws, but it won't get people to change their attitudes; in fact, it might just make sexism even worse because now we associate all "feminist" women with being crazy man-haters. I see good in the things that the feminist movement is trying to change, but I feel that they often go too far. They want women to have the right to be career-minded, but then turn around and criticize women who choose to stay at home with their children instead of having a career. They want to be seen as equals, but then make men bend over backwards to try and not be classified as a rapist or chauvinist. Don't get me wrong, sexual harassment is unacceptable and is something that needs to be stopped as well as rape culture, but when it gets to the point when you think your boyfriend needs to ask permission EVERY TIME he kisses you, it might have gone too far, especially if you don't feel the need to do the same. #oynaf
That being said, I don't think it's wrong to let people (men or women) know if they are being sexist or insensitive because, like I said, I think sexism exists and needs to be stopped. That brings me to my story.
Yesterday at work, I was in a coworker's office with him, one of the (male) managing partners (who has a tendency to be insensitive and politically incorrect), and another (female) coworker. My female coworker brought up Coldplay, and the managing partner said something to the effect of, "of course you like Coldplay, you're a girl." Now granted, this isn't an end-of-the-world offensive statement nor is it something to write the HR department about, but I just made the comment to him that it was a sexist statement...you would think that I had told him he was a worthless excuse for a man who drinks too much and beats his wife. The two men started telling me that I was painting people into boxes and that a label like that was so extreme (jokingly they thought), but it made me realize that sexism will never stop as long as 1) people who are sexist don't see anything wrong with what they say and 2) others are too afraid of political arguments (such as an argument of sexism) that they try and brush them aside with jokes or light-heartedness, making the person who made the sexist comment then think that it was fine and that the person who said something about it was just overreacting.
Neutrality is the real enemy of progress; not sexist men or women, but men and women who choose to do nothing when they are in a position to make a change. When things like this^ happen, more and more people start to feel like change is unattainable. Don't be that person who makes a joke out of sexism. While, like I said, this comment wasn't overly offensive, it might be the next time; and if small issues of sexism are not stopped, how will the bigger ones be? The comment he made portrays the idea that people (women in this case) can't like something because of who they are as a person, they can only have opinions and interests based on what their gender dictates. It's degrading, and it perpetuates the stereotypes that are already so ingrained in our minds about men and women. We need to be moving past those; we need to let people be who they are regardless of what their gender has required before. It shouldn't be the norm to "paint people into boxes," like my coworkers so eloquently said, based on their gender.
So here's my last word: don't be afraid of the 'S' Word. Don't be afraid to say it, and don't be afraid when people don't like it. Nobody likes change when it makes them admit their fault.
I think sexism still exists, but I wouldn't call myself a feminist--at least the kind that storm the capital demanding higher pay and a complete language reform to remove man from every word in existence.
My kind of feminism is the kind where I want men and women to be equal: have equal opportunities, have the same regard for their abilities, have the right to not be labeled based on their gender, etc. But I don't necessarily believe that that change will happen by rioting in the city square and belittling men for still wanting to open the door for you. Making a lot of noise might get the government to change laws, but it won't get people to change their attitudes; in fact, it might just make sexism even worse because now we associate all "feminist" women with being crazy man-haters. I see good in the things that the feminist movement is trying to change, but I feel that they often go too far. They want women to have the right to be career-minded, but then turn around and criticize women who choose to stay at home with their children instead of having a career. They want to be seen as equals, but then make men bend over backwards to try and not be classified as a rapist or chauvinist. Don't get me wrong, sexual harassment is unacceptable and is something that needs to be stopped as well as rape culture, but when it gets to the point when you think your boyfriend needs to ask permission EVERY TIME he kisses you, it might have gone too far, especially if you don't feel the need to do the same. #oynaf
That being said, I don't think it's wrong to let people (men or women) know if they are being sexist or insensitive because, like I said, I think sexism exists and needs to be stopped. That brings me to my story.
Yesterday at work, I was in a coworker's office with him, one of the (male) managing partners (who has a tendency to be insensitive and politically incorrect), and another (female) coworker. My female coworker brought up Coldplay, and the managing partner said something to the effect of, "of course you like Coldplay, you're a girl." Now granted, this isn't an end-of-the-world offensive statement nor is it something to write the HR department about, but I just made the comment to him that it was a sexist statement...you would think that I had told him he was a worthless excuse for a man who drinks too much and beats his wife. The two men started telling me that I was painting people into boxes and that a label like that was so extreme (jokingly they thought), but it made me realize that sexism will never stop as long as 1) people who are sexist don't see anything wrong with what they say and 2) others are too afraid of political arguments (such as an argument of sexism) that they try and brush them aside with jokes or light-heartedness, making the person who made the sexist comment then think that it was fine and that the person who said something about it was just overreacting.
Neutrality is the real enemy of progress; not sexist men or women, but men and women who choose to do nothing when they are in a position to make a change. When things like this^ happen, more and more people start to feel like change is unattainable. Don't be that person who makes a joke out of sexism. While, like I said, this comment wasn't overly offensive, it might be the next time; and if small issues of sexism are not stopped, how will the bigger ones be? The comment he made portrays the idea that people (women in this case) can't like something because of who they are as a person, they can only have opinions and interests based on what their gender dictates. It's degrading, and it perpetuates the stereotypes that are already so ingrained in our minds about men and women. We need to be moving past those; we need to let people be who they are regardless of what their gender has required before. It shouldn't be the norm to "paint people into boxes," like my coworkers so eloquently said, based on their gender.
So here's my last word: don't be afraid of the 'S' Word. Don't be afraid to say it, and don't be afraid when people don't like it. Nobody likes change when it makes them admit their fault.
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